JESS HENLEY
PSYCHOTHERAPY & EMDR
Attachment-Informed EMDR (ai-EMDR)
What is ai-EMDR?
Alongside standard EMDR, I also use an approach called Attachment-Informed EMDR, or ai-EMDR.
Despite the name, this isn’t a different form of EMDR. It uses the same basic principles, but looks more closely at the experiences and relationships that shaped us when we were growing up — and how these might still be influencing the way we think, feel and respond today.
We often come to therapy because of something that is happening in the present. Perhaps you’re struggling with anxiety, feeling that you’re not good enough, finding relationships difficult, or noticing that certain situations trigger a much bigger emotional response than you would expect.
With ai-EMDR, we’re interested not only in what is happening now, but where that feeling might have started. Sometimes there is an obvious traumatic event that we can work with. But sometimes there isn’t. Instead, the roots of how you feel may lie in much earlier experiences — perhaps not feeling sufficiently safe, seen, protected or supported when you needed it, or learning from a young age that you had to behave in a certain way to feel secure.
These early experiences can shape the beliefs we develop about ourselves and other people. I’m not good enough. I have to keep everyone happy. I can’t rely on anyone. My needs don’t matter. We may not even realise we’re carrying these beliefs, but they can continue to influence how we respond to situations and relationships many years later.
How do we work with it?
In our sessions, we can start with what is troubling you now and gently explore whether that feeling connects to something earlier. We don’t have to know where it comes from before we begin — part of the work is being curious about what emerges.
We can use the creative imagination alongside bilateral stimulation to strengthen feelings of safety, support, nurturing and protection before, and while, we work with more difficult experiences.
The aim is not to blame your childhood, your parents or anyone else for how you feel today. It is about understanding how you came to feel the way you do, and helping your mind and body recognise that the ways you learned to protect yourself in the past may not be needed in quite the same way now.
Ultimately, we’re interested in more than simply reducing the distress around one particular memory. We’re looking at some of the deeper patterns underneath it, so that you can begin to feel differently about yourself, your relationships and the way you experience the world today.